blimey...

...sad...
a revelation anew...
sad, quite depressing...my heart seemed to have stopped for a split second.
my mind went blank, my hearing weak...i was in oblivion.
i don't know how to react. should i be in anger, despair?...
at this moment i'm speechless. No comment.

what?..what's wrong?...
i can't deny the facts, for they are what they are. it can never be taken back. done is done.
i feel offended. i feel sad. i feel insulted. i feel mad. i feel ashamed. i feel glad(?). i feel restless...
i feel nothingness (again?).

to whom should i be angry of, i'm confused. to whom should i cast my blame, totally clueless i am.
should i blame her for her flaws brought from her childhood? or should i blame him/them for their insecurities and immaturities?
blame her for she's immature, she lacks responsibility for her actions. then, should I blame her innocence, for her chastely ways?
him/them must be blamed for their insecurities, they lack confidence and trust. blame him/them for their hypocrisy, for their much display of what-they-accused-of-her.
...but inspite of all these blames, why do i feel i owe myself the blame?..

blimey...
blame thyself for not admitting these facts,for not totally realizing such more than the likes of them.
so degrading...blame thyself for i'm now confused and swinging. better get off with it or else...

sigh...

blame thyself...it's much better.